Sexual Narcissism
May 03, 2021, by Psychosexology W/ Gayatri
Sexual Narcissism
When you first get into the romantic relationship, you might find your partner loving, devoted, genuine. But, as time goes on, you will start seeing thier true colors and true intensions.
And when your parnter starts showing traits as entitlement, low empathy, or superiority, manipulation, then you might wonder if your partner is narcissist. And that might be true. But, before considering them as narcissist, you need to know the difference between NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and Sexual Narcissism as both are diferent terms. Narcissism often display some type of sexual entitlement, yet narcissistic traits don’t specifically mention sexual behavior. Key difference between the two lies in the link between sexual narcissism and sexual aggression. Unlike sexual narcissism, NPD alone
doesn’t necessarily suggest a higher likelihood of behaving in sexually aggressive ways.
Sexual narcissist -
. believes that they have right to have sex anytime they want and no matter if you are willing to have sex with them or not, they want you to do it
. try to deceive and manipulate you to have sex with them. They don't care about your opinions, preferences and satisfaction. But, only want you to satisfy their sexual needs at any cost.
. believe that they are great at sex and need your validation and praise for their performance.
. manipulate, abuse and try to make you feel guilty, if you say no to sex. They -
compare your performance with their ex partners, accuse you of cheating, threaten you, etc.
. ignore you after sex. Ghosting after sex, is common behaviour of sexual narcissist.
. behave aggressively during sex
. more interested in quantity rather than qualith of pleasure. So, they might force you to fulfil their fantasies by asking you to act out as porn star or not willing to use protection during sex.
. they might have more sexual partners.
. gaslight you for their needs.
They have sex for physical enjoyment and not for emotional connection. They consider their sexual performance as pride and it makes them feel powerful. Research suggests, this behavior pattern has its roots in insecurity and low self-esteem. Sexual narcissists might have sex outside the relationship and blame their partner by saying that it's your fault that you were not available for them when they wanted to have sex.
Sexual narcissists lack empathy and thus they don't feel bad or guilty for treating their partner in wrong way. For them it's all about their own needs and wants. Not all sexual narcissists show signs of manipulation and aggression. Some just seem to be inconsiderate about themsleves when it comes to sex. They might just need constant praise, lot of approval and admiration to boost their sense of self worth.
What if you find out that your partner is sexual narcissist??
Dealing with such kind of person might seem exhausting and frustrating but, if you really want to workout the relationship, then try to understand their approach towards you. If they love you and show some kinf of care and affection, start having an open conversation about what you want in relationship, what you want in bed and make them try to understand that they should respect your wants and desires and willingeness to have sex.
But ,you need to understand that, sexual narcissists now going to change unless and until they themsleves are willing to change. And when you come up with this kind of conversation, they might try to threat you, manipulate you, abuse you, so then, try reaching out to counselor for support and take suppport of your family. If you find out that they are not willing to change, it is always best to break up with sexual narcissit as soon as possible.
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