Libido - Sex Drive Or Psychic Drive????
June 21, 2021, by Psychosexology W/ Gayatri
Imagine you're in big mood to get in bed with your partner.
But, your partner doesn't really wanna do it as they don't feel like having it.
Mood spoiler. Right????
Sex is such an amazing thing. Why would someone say no to sex??? Especially when a partner is in mood. Sad truth. But, this is very common among couples. So, what's the reason behind this libido??? Why they don't crave sex as much as you do??? Or sometimes your partner may have more cravings than you. So, what's the reason behind this???
Most of the people believe that libido involves biological desire of sex but, it also invloves the psychological and social factors that contribute to sexual activity. Libido not only represent sexual energy but, also a psychic energy. In psychoanalytic theory, libido is psychic drive or energy, particularly associated with sexual instinct, but also present in other instinctive desires and drives. Psychological factors that can influence the libido include stress, personality, age, relationship status, lifestyle, and past experiences. For example, sexual abuse and trauma can impact libido. Other issues such as body image,
self-esteem, and depression can also make people desire sex less.
According to Freud, libido is present in what he defined as id, ego and superego. Id is the most basic part of the personality. It is the only part of personality that is present from birth. It consists of all of our most basic urges and desires. During early childhood, the id controls our behaviour. It drives the behaviour of children to fulfil different kinds of needs like food, water or pleasures. The pleasure principle guides the id to fulfill these basic needs. You might have seen child grabbing toy from other child without any hesitation or permission or not caring about how other child will feel or think. This behaviour of child is driven by id. Young children try to satisfy their biological needs very quickly without thinking if their behaviour is acceptable or not. According to the Freud, the pleasure principle is the driving force of the id that seeks immediate gratification of all needs, wants, and urges. It seeks pleasure and avoid pain to satisfy biological and psychological needs. The pleasure principle strives to fulfill our most basic and primitive urges, including hunger, thirst, anger, and sex. When these needs are not met, the person feel anxious and stressful. Id tries to direct actions to achieve the greatest amount of pleasure that is possible. On the contrary, the ego limits the energy of the libido. It is responsible for getting pleasure while taking reality into account. At this point, our environment and society play important role. And finally, the superego gives great importance to morality. It has internalized the norms and values of society. The rules we learn through contact and interaction with others. People are not even aware of many of their urges as id is entirely unconscious. And, unless and until we are able to bring our unconscious urges into the consciousness, we won't be able to get full pleasure.
According to Freud, libido is present in what he defined as id, ego and superego. Id is the most basic part of the personality. It is the only part of personality that is present from birth. It consists of all of our most basic urges and desires. During early childhood, the id controls our behaviour. It drives the behaviour of children to fulfil different kinds of needs like food, water or pleasures. The pleasure principle guides the id to fulfill these basic needs. You might have seen child grabbing toy from other child without any hesitation or permission or not caring about how other child will feel or think. This behaviour of child is driven by id. Young children try to satisfy their biological needs very quickly without thinking if their behaviour is acceptable or not. According to the Freud, the pleasure principle is the driving force of the id that seeks immediate gratification of all needs, wants, and urges. It seeks pleasure and avoid pain to satisfy biological and psychological needs. The pleasure principle strives to fulfill our most basic and primitive urges, including hunger, thirst, anger, and sex. When these needs are not met, the person feel anxious and stressful. Id tries to direct actions to achieve the greatest amount of pleasure that is possible. On the contrary, the ego limits the energy of the libido. It is responsible for getting pleasure while taking reality into account. At this point, our environment and society play important role. And finally, the superego gives great importance to morality. It has internalized the norms and values of society. The rules we learn through contact and interaction with others. People are not even aware of many of their urges as id is entirely unconscious. And, unless and until we are able to bring our unconscious urges into the consciousness, we won't be able to get full pleasure.
The way we express our libido, is depend upon our development in psychosexual stages. In every psychosexual stages of childhood, libido is focused on a specific area.
Libido is expressed in different ways depending on where a person is in their development.
Oral phase: pleasure is obtained through the mouth
Anal phase: sphincter and defecation are controlled, activity linked to pleasure and sexuality
Phallic phase: pleasure is obtained when urinating, thanks to the pleasant sensation it produces
Latency phase: modesty and shame appear, related to sexuality
Genital phase: the arrival of puberty and sexual maturity
If children are handled successfully, they move to next stage of the development and grow up into healthy individual. But, if fixation occurs in any stage, then they grow up into unhealthy adults. The person remains stuck in that stage until the conflict is resolved. One of the psychosexual developmental stage is the oral stage. During this time, a child's libido is centered on the mouth, so activities such as eating, sucking, and drinking are important. If an oral fixation occurs, an adult's libidinal energy will remain focused on this stage which might result in problems such as nail-biting, drinking, smoking and other habits. To resolve the conflict, it's important to bring unconscious libidinal urges into conscious awareness.
Reality principle opposes the instinctual urges of the pleasure principle. Instead of seeking immediate gratification for urges, the reality principle guides the person to seek different ways to fulfill these needs that are both realistic and socially appropriate.
So, if next time you or your partner feel low or high libido, it doesn't necessarily mean it has something to do with biological changes or other relationship issues but, it may be because of some psychological issues.
Reality principle opposes the instinctual urges of the pleasure principle. Instead of seeking immediate gratification for urges, the reality principle guides the person to seek different ways to fulfill these needs that are both realistic and socially appropriate.
So, if next time you or your partner feel low or high libido, it doesn't necessarily mean it has something to do with biological changes or other relationship issues but, it may be because of some psychological issues.
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