Dark Side Of Perfectionism
December 09, 2021, by Psychosexology W/ Gayatri
Dark Side Of Perfectionism
No matter how many times people say they don't try to be perfect, accept their flaws, love and appreciate their imperfections but, every now and then, people try to be perfect. Whether it's about going for interview or going on date or going to attend marriage or going to give presentation and so on. People do try to be perfect. And trying to be perfect isn't a bad thing. But, what being perfect actually means??? And when you can say that you are perfect?? How you gonna measure your perfectionism??? At which point you'll stop trying to be perfect???
Perfectionism can make your life an endless report card of accomplishments. One might think that perfectionism might always drive any human to inevitable success but this is quite the contrary. Excessive perfectionism is a destructive behaviour. Although it is a good practice in theory to be perfect, we need to understand that reality is far from perfect. When you practice healthy perfectionism, it can be self-motivating and drive you to overcome adversity and achieve success. But when you try ot be overperfect or try to be perfect at every single thing you do then, it is unhealthy. It can be a fast and enduring track to unhappiness. Pressurizing yourself to achieve unrealistic goals inevitably sets you up for disappointment. It can drive you to be concerned with achieving unattainable ideals or unrealistic goals, which often leads to many forms of adjustment problems, anxiety, OCD, depression, low self-esteem and a victim of other psychological, physical disorders. Being perfect can distract you from your other important goals or tasks. It can affect your relationships too. Recent studies link maladaptive forms of perfectionism to higher rates of depression and anxiety, these studies show only the dark side of what happens when consciousness and control are taken to an extreme.
There are two types of perfectionism. Normal perfectionism or neurotic perfectionism. Normal perfectionists are more inclined to pursue perfection without compromising their self-esteem, and derive pleasure from their efforts. Neurotic perfectionists are prone to strive for unrealistic goals and feel dissatisfied when they cannot reach them.
How to overcome it??
• Leave the all or nothing attitude. You are not failure if you fail to perform good at something. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Understand that one mistake or failure is not the end of the world and you can always give a new start.
• Become aware of your perfectionist tendencies by writing down your thoughts so that you can work to alter them.
• Confront uncomfortable feelings
• Enjoy the process of learning rather than focusing the outcome.
• Set realistic goals and decide step by step targets to achieve them but along with this make up your mind to face failures or to face unfavourable outcomes. As they say, pray for thr best but prepare for the worst.
• Accept that you can't be perfect at everything.
Remember, as humans we were not meant to be perfect. We were meant to be flawed and imperfect and through these flaws we were to evolve in time to something close to perfectionism, but never be perfect at all. Just think about it. If we were to be perfect at one point of our lives, further than that point it would mean that there would be no room for improvement. You must also take into consideration the fact that no matter how hard you try to perfect something, there will always be someone who will be a mile further than the point you got. Perfectionist people are rarely happy, for they are quite literally never happy with the result they get in any subject matter. They always try to make what they work on perfect and they are too focused on it that they forget to enjoy the porcess of growing and learning. So, it's better to thrive towards excellence rather than perfectionism. So, rather than trying to be perfect, learn to stay in moments and enjoy them.
• Leave the all or nothing attitude. You are not failure if you fail to perform good at something. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Understand that one mistake or failure is not the end of the world and you can always give a new start.
• Become aware of your perfectionist tendencies by writing down your thoughts so that you can work to alter them.
• Confront uncomfortable feelings
• Enjoy the process of learning rather than focusing the outcome.
• Set realistic goals and decide step by step targets to achieve them but along with this make up your mind to face failures or to face unfavourable outcomes. As they say, pray for thr best but prepare for the worst.
• Accept that you can't be perfect at everything.
Remember, as humans we were not meant to be perfect. We were meant to be flawed and imperfect and through these flaws we were to evolve in time to something close to perfectionism, but never be perfect at all. Just think about it. If we were to be perfect at one point of our lives, further than that point it would mean that there would be no room for improvement. You must also take into consideration the fact that no matter how hard you try to perfect something, there will always be someone who will be a mile further than the point you got. Perfectionist people are rarely happy, for they are quite literally never happy with the result they get in any subject matter. They always try to make what they work on perfect and they are too focused on it that they forget to enjoy the porcess of growing and learning. So, it's better to thrive towards excellence rather than perfectionism. So, rather than trying to be perfect, learn to stay in moments and enjoy them.
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