Can Jealousy Be A Sign Of Love??
June 14, 2021, by Psychosexology W/ Gayatri
Can Jealousy Be A Sign Of Love??
Do you know what's the sign of love or how will you get to know that someone likes you or interested in you??? I'm pretty sure, most of you will say, if your partner gets jealous of you when you get closed with someone else or hangout with someone else then, that's the sign that your partner likes you or love you. This is because, you have heard many times that, "the people who are in love get jealous over stupid things". But, can jealousy be a sign of love??? Is it really an indicator that the perosn loves you??
Men and women both feel jealousy. Some evidence suggests that in the context of romantic relationships, men feel greater jealousy about sexual infidelity while women tend to feel more jealous about emotional infidelity. Jealousy is often thought of in the context of romantic relations. But, it can be seen in all forms of relationships. It is a normal human reaction from siblings competing for parental attention to coworkers trying to impress a boss or a man being jealous of another one for having more luxuries or whatever. Generally people get jealous when they get threatened that someone else going to affect the bond they have with their loved one. So, jealousy isn't really sign of love but it is a sign that the person has insecurity that someone else will take their loved one away from them. Jealousy comes out of a lack of trust, lack of trust in the process of life, in your partner, in yourself. And this gives birth to insecurity which in turn causes jealousy. When someone gets jealous, it has nothing to about another person but, it has something to do with their own insecurities and their inner self.
Reasons of jealousy
• Low self-esteem
• High neuroticism
• Feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners.
• Fear of abandonment
• Feeling of inadequacy. Feeling that you're not good enough for your partner and that they can leave you for someone better.
Jealousy is a normal human reaction. So, it's okay if you feel little jealous about something or someone. But, don't let it drive your behaviour. “Emotions are simply something we experience, but we do not have to become them.” Jealousy isn't just an emotion but it also has a potiential to drive destructive behaviour. Extreme jealousy can make people manipulate their partner, harm the third person who they think is going to destory their realtionship, encourage behaviours like stalking. Jealousy can easily cross the line of controlling or manipulating someone.
So, how can you overcome jealousy?
Acceptance
It's absolutely okay to feel little jealous but when you think that jealousy is taking over then, you really need to take some steps to control it. Firstly, accept that you are getting jealous. Unless and until you accept what is happening or that you really facing problem, you can't understand the reason behind it. So, acceptance of your own feelings is most important.
Try to find out reasons
Try to self assess your behviour and emotions. Try to give a look at what really makes you feel jealous and why it makes you feel like that. Ask yourself if there is a valid reason for your feelings or is it just your misunderstanding, prejudice or you are just imagining things based on your past experiences. Sometimes, past relationship expereinces, (if your last partner cheated on you) also makes you suspecious and feel jealous in current relationships. We almost always end up acting jealous immediately after feeling jealous.
Acceptance
It's absolutely okay to feel little jealous but when you think that jealousy is taking over then, you really need to take some steps to control it. Firstly, accept that you are getting jealous. Unless and until you accept what is happening or that you really facing problem, you can't understand the reason behind it. So, acceptance of your own feelings is most important.
Try to find out reasons
Try to self assess your behviour and emotions. Try to give a look at what really makes you feel jealous and why it makes you feel like that. Ask yourself if there is a valid reason for your feelings or is it just your misunderstanding, prejudice or you are just imagining things based on your past experiences. Sometimes, past relationship expereinces, (if your last partner cheated on you) also makes you suspecious and feel jealous in current relationships. We almost always end up acting jealous immediately after feeling jealous.
So, try to find out if something is really wrong or you're the one who is thinking it's wrong.
Talk to your partner
Communication is the most important. Try to communicate your insecurities with your partner. Tell them what makes you feel jealous and why it makes you feel that way. Tell them what you're expecting from them and communicate your own boundaries which you consider in any relationship. Negotiate boundaries that feel acceptable to both parties. Communicate but in a proper way. Don't make false accusations on your partner or don't give silent treatment. You must be direct, but not hostile. Calmly explain your feelings and discuss how to find a solution this can prevent your partner from being confused by your jealous behavior.
Work on yourself
Try to build your confidence and boost your self esteem. Remember, jealousy comes from within, it has something to do with you and unless and until you try to improve yourself, you can't get over it. So, rather than stalking or spying on a person, throw a look at your inner self and try to assess yourself. Rather than acting out your jealousy, try to take a pause and reconsider your thoughts. Becoming more aware of our jealous behavior is critical because it can easily lead to self-sabotage and other destructive patterns. Instead of fighting the feeling of jealousy, pay attention to how it makes you behave. Although we don’t have control over our feelings, we always have control over our behavior and how we react to those feelings.
• rather than giving silent treatment to partner, try to communicate your feelings to them
• rather than controling social circle of your partner, try to understand what certain relationships mean to them
• rather than beating yourself because you feel jealous, try to accept your feelings and work on yourself.
• rather than checking out social media and tracking activity of partner, spend some time with yourself. Follow your hobbies, interests, spend time to improve your mental and physical health
• if you’re feeling jealous, try not to immediately act on these feelings.Try to be more self-aware about the situation before letting your emotions take over.
Understand, when you get jealous over stupid things, you’re not showing love, you’re revealing your own insecurities.
What if your partner is exhibiting jealousy??
Jealousy can cause manipulative behavior. If your partner, friend, or loved one try to monitor your behavior or makes wild or false accusations, or tries to isolate you from people that trigger his or her jealousy then, you can say that the relationship has become unhealthy and potentially dangerous. So if your partner is exhibiting unwarranted jealousy, what should you do? You should realize that your partner’s jealousy isn’t about you, but it's all about them. Try to respond to their expressions of jealousy by reassuring your partner of your love. Research has shown that those who respond to partners’ jealousy by reassuring them of their interest and attraction tend to have more stable relationships. Try to understand what makes them feel jealous and why it makes them feel that way. Jealousy is because of insecurity. Make them feel secure and set boundaries when you are with someone else. Explain them what kind of bond you share with the third person.
Although jealousy is normal, excessive jealousy or jealous behavior can be an indicator of problems in the relationship or just the fact that you and your partner have different expectations. We can never eliminate jealousy completely, but we can change jealous behaviors that do more harm and through this behavioral change, we can learn to control and overcome jealousy.
Talk to your partner
Communication is the most important. Try to communicate your insecurities with your partner. Tell them what makes you feel jealous and why it makes you feel that way. Tell them what you're expecting from them and communicate your own boundaries which you consider in any relationship. Negotiate boundaries that feel acceptable to both parties. Communicate but in a proper way. Don't make false accusations on your partner or don't give silent treatment. You must be direct, but not hostile. Calmly explain your feelings and discuss how to find a solution this can prevent your partner from being confused by your jealous behavior.
Work on yourself
Try to build your confidence and boost your self esteem. Remember, jealousy comes from within, it has something to do with you and unless and until you try to improve yourself, you can't get over it. So, rather than stalking or spying on a person, throw a look at your inner self and try to assess yourself. Rather than acting out your jealousy, try to take a pause and reconsider your thoughts. Becoming more aware of our jealous behavior is critical because it can easily lead to self-sabotage and other destructive patterns. Instead of fighting the feeling of jealousy, pay attention to how it makes you behave. Although we don’t have control over our feelings, we always have control over our behavior and how we react to those feelings.
• rather than giving silent treatment to partner, try to communicate your feelings to them
• rather than controling social circle of your partner, try to understand what certain relationships mean to them
• rather than beating yourself because you feel jealous, try to accept your feelings and work on yourself.
• rather than checking out social media and tracking activity of partner, spend some time with yourself. Follow your hobbies, interests, spend time to improve your mental and physical health
• if you’re feeling jealous, try not to immediately act on these feelings.Try to be more self-aware about the situation before letting your emotions take over.
Understand, when you get jealous over stupid things, you’re not showing love, you’re revealing your own insecurities.
What if your partner is exhibiting jealousy??
Jealousy can cause manipulative behavior. If your partner, friend, or loved one try to monitor your behavior or makes wild or false accusations, or tries to isolate you from people that trigger his or her jealousy then, you can say that the relationship has become unhealthy and potentially dangerous. So if your partner is exhibiting unwarranted jealousy, what should you do? You should realize that your partner’s jealousy isn’t about you, but it's all about them. Try to respond to their expressions of jealousy by reassuring your partner of your love. Research has shown that those who respond to partners’ jealousy by reassuring them of their interest and attraction tend to have more stable relationships. Try to understand what makes them feel jealous and why it makes them feel that way. Jealousy is because of insecurity. Make them feel secure and set boundaries when you are with someone else. Explain them what kind of bond you share with the third person.
Although jealousy is normal, excessive jealousy or jealous behavior can be an indicator of problems in the relationship or just the fact that you and your partner have different expectations. We can never eliminate jealousy completely, but we can change jealous behaviors that do more harm and through this behavioral change, we can learn to control and overcome jealousy.
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