How To Build Up Self-Esteem??
April 03, 2022, by Psychosexology W/ Gayatri
How To Build Up Self-Esteem?
Everyone has times when they feel a bit low or find it hard to believe in themselves or think they are not good enough. It's okay to feel like that sometimes. But, if this becomes a long-term situation then it can affect mental health and can cause depression or anxiety. Life time experiences including childhood, relationships and many other things affect your self-esteem. However, it is possible to improve your self-esteem at any age. So, it's very important to know how to build up your self-esteem.
What is self-esteem ?
Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself or the opinion you have about yourself. Many people view self-esteem as their inner voice - the voice that tells you whether you are good enough to do or achieve something. But, self-esteem is actually about how we value ourselves & our perceptions about who we are and what we are capable of. Self esteem is not about ability. People with good self-esteem generally feel positive about themselves and about life. This makes them much more resilient and better able to cope with life’s ups and downs. Those with poor self-esteem are often much more critical of themselves. They find it harder to bounce back from challenges and setbacks.
How to build up self-esteem??
1. Identify your negative beliefs
Notice your thoughts about yourself. For example, you might find yourself thinking 'I'm not good enough’. And when that thought comes to your mind, look for evidence that contradicts those statements. Write down both statement and evidence and keep looking back at it to remind yourself that your negative beliefs about yourself are not true.
2. Find out your strenghts
Write down what you are good at, what you thankful for. This will help you to understand yourself in better way and you will feel good about yourself. When you start to feel low, look back at these things and remind yourself that there is so much good about you.
3. Kick out a**holes from your life
Sigmund Freud once said,
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes".
If there are people who make you feel bad about yourself, cut ties with them. And if there are people which are unavoidable then learn to handle them in right way rather than trying to avoid them or feel stressful by their presence.
People play very important role in shaping your thoughts and personality. So, make sure you are surrounded with only people who make you feel good about yourself.
4. It's okay to be imperfect
You need to understand that you can't be perfect at everything you do. So, don't force yourself to chase perfection rather just go with the flow. Enjoy the things you do. And it's okay if you fail sometimes. Take your failure as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than blaming yourself. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself and not too critical.
5. No means no.
People with low self esteem, find it hard to say no to people and try to please others to get accepted or to be loved by others. This can increase stress and decrease your confidence. So, it's very important that you should learn to say no to unwanted situations or people.
6. Understand the law of attraction
Some people underetimate the importance of talking positive. But, the ones who know the law of attraction, know that posotive thoughts and talks create positive vibrations and thus create positive surrounding. If you doubts this thing, then give a try to it. Try to use positive affirmations on daily basis. Positive affirmations such as “I will live happy life or I won't let any failure stop me or I'm good enough and I don't need to prove that to anyone". Practice different affirmations and this will definelty help you to feel better about yourself.
7. Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion
Unfortunately, when your self-esteem is low you are likely to damage it even further by being self-critical. Since your goal is to enhance your self-esteem, you need to substitute self-criticism with self-compassion. Specifically, whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate to friends than we are to ourselves) and direct those comments to yourself. Doing so will avoid damaging your self-esteem further with critical thoughts and help to build it up instead.
One thing you need to understand that improving self-esteem requires a bit of work as it involves developing and maintaining healthier emotional habits. But, doing this will not only improve your self-esteem but also help you to understand yourself in better way.
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